Today

Reading of Lin Juemin [林覺民] (1887-1911); as you can tell, I'm taking a crash course in fin de siècle China, a turbulent and violent period yet imbued with creativity and beauty. One among the most celebrated love letters of China's ages old History dates back from this period, and Juemin wrote it to his wife Cheng Yiying [陳意映] on his own handkerchief three days before his execution at 23 years old, for his participating on an urprising. The lovers and students shared their life for only a few years, and Juemin's letter is full of reminiscences.

Do you remember? One evening four or five years ago, I told you: "Instead of letting me die first, I’d rather have you die first." At first you were mad when you heard this, but after I gently explained it, although you did not agree, you could not refute me either.

What I meant was knowing your frail health, you definitely can not withstand the sorrow of losing me. I don’t have the heart to die first and leave all the sadness to you. So I’d rather hope that you die first and let me bear the sorrow. Sigh! Who knew I would die before you after all? (...) You and I were walking side by side, holding hands, whispering our deepest thoughts. What subject was off limits? What feelings went untold?